Confessions · NaBloPoMo · November 2014 · Spain

Season of change.

Sometimes change is hard for me. As I see that written on the screen I laugh because I decided to make a big change and move to the other side of the world. But that’s not the change that I’m talking about. I’m referring more to the “people change” that I have experienced since moving abroad.

I knew that when I made the decision to move to Spain that life would go on back in California. There would be things that I would miss out on. I definitely did not think through about the changes that might happen. Honestly, I thought I would just roll with it and I would be a-okay. That hasn’t necessarily been the case. I missed my baby cousin’s first birthday. I’m missing the birth of his sister. I’m missing birthdays, holidays, graduations, engagements, and weddings.

I was fully aware all of this when I moved. It just didn’t hit me until these events actually happened. Two of my best friends have gotten engaged since being in Madrid. I’m beyond ecstatic for them that they have both found the man of their dreams. It’s hard celebrating on the other side on the world though. The real FOMO (fear of missing out) is starting to settle in. Questions have been flooding my mind. What else will I miss out on? When will it be my turn? Will I be back in time for things? When am I going back to the states? All of these questions are unknown. Regardless, I am still glad that I made the decision to move and if I could go back and do it all over again, I would make the same choice.

The other night I was texting my mom and she was asking me how I was doing with everything. I was honest about my sentiments towards everything. She shared her sympathies and supported and encouraged me that I had made a wonderful decision in coming to Madrid and that this year will be a huge growing experience.

Change is hard, but it’s also really good. I’m proud of myself for taking the leap and jumping into change!

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