Au Pair Life · Spain

A Jumble of Thoughts.

Estoy sentado en mi habitación que está vacía ahora…en serio, donde se ha ido el tiempo?

I cannot believe that I have less than 36 hours here in Madrid. Here in España. Here with the family that I have lived with over the past 13 months. The family that I have come to call my own. I honestly cannot believe it. The date that was once far off, months away…is now here. Tomorrow night I board a plane and make my journey back to the states.

I’m hoping that this post will help me figure out the feelings and emotions that I’ve got going on. So sorry if this post isn’t super coherent or have a good flow to it. Just gotta get all of this out somewhere!

As I think about the past year I am beyond grateful for this wonderful experience. I was talking to a dear friend the other night and I was telling her how sometimes I feel jealous or left behind because it seems like everyone at home, including her, is moving forward and has got some sort of handle on life. I guess that would fall under the category of FOMO (fear of missing out). But I think that it’s more than that. After graduation, I packed up and left the country for a year; I was and still am completely okay with that. If I could go back in time and change anything, I wouldn’t because I am SO glad that I have gotten this experience. It’s the fact that I now have to come back and try and figure out what I’ve put off for the past year. This is the hard part for me. I’ve had a different reality and now I am faced with trying to figure out what to do next. Knowing that my friends have sort of already figured things out and I’m just starting is the “bleh” that I’m not looking forward to. I know that I will be fine, that I don’t have to fret because it will all work out and I will figure out my life. Just have to be patient and remain positive.

Being an au pair was just another extension of what I have done for work for the past 10 years. I know that it was a little different because I moved to another country, on the other side of the world, and to one that spoke a different language. Other than, this hasn’t been much different from what I’ve been doing 😉 The decision to move to Spain was AMAZING. I don’t think I can express how much I’ve really enjoyed this year. My time here has challenged me, helped me grow, and strengthened me in so many ways. And I’m sure there are other things that I haven’t even realized yet. As much as I am looking forward to being back in California, I’m also looking forward to my next adventure. And I don’t even know what that will be. It’s sort of silly, because I’m not even back yet and I am looking for that next place to jet to and explore.

First thing is first though. Get acclimated to life in the states and come up with a plan for my next adventure and my future. That’s the responsible thing to do! My mix of sadness, happiness, excitment and uncertainity is overwhelming, so I’ll just try to take each day at a time and work it out. We will see what my next adventure will be. I’ll keep you all posted! And thank you for reading and coming with me on my journey as an au pair and my move to Spain.

I’m excited for the next place I’ll go, are you ready?!

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